Everyone is back from Las Vegas and I am writing this as Cash congregates with the inner circle of hip hop mogul Diggy Simons.
It’s a surreal existence. Gals, if you think you don’t know Diggy— you know Diggy. He helped start the most major of hip hop record labels in the 80s and then went on to start the first official hip hop clothing line; married a model who started a female counterpart to his clothing line, etc, etc. And the Wu Wears and Roc-a-Wears and Dereon Jeans of the world came tumbling after. Diggy is considered the impresario behind hip hop’s commercial rise. He now has licensed his name to fine jewelry, on which I apparently work. Right now, I am preparing a memo of samples to go to him post-Vegas. I have Diggy Simons’ address. (Saddle River, NJ) His inner circle consists of two gents– Darnell Bartell and Brian Leung.
A Queens native, Brian Leung’s style can only be described as ghetto fabulous. He is the head designer for Diggy’s men’s clothing line and wears a lot of Louis Vuitton: backpack, wallet, Louis Black Flag bars tee, etc; with green and yellow Nike Dunks and an Oakland A’s cap tilted to the side. He accessorizes the look with 18K yellow gold glasses, a raccoon tail (I thought they were only for Williamsburg rocker hipsters—??!) that dangles from his Louis belt, and his ubiquitous companion, Change the Pomeranian.
Darnell adopts the style of an upscale music industry exec, in white Polo Ralph Lauren button downs, sweater vests, dark jeans, Tod’s loafers and Buddy Holly glasses with sky blue lenses à la Randy Jackson of American Idol.
Word on the street is that Cash and Ranch Jr. “hit a home run” [their words] with the collection in Vegas, and here I am, furiously organizing everything for them post-show. Ranch Jr. is not back in the office yet, so there is a little less fanfare around Brian and Darnell’s presence in the office today.
Cash is always sweet and grateful toward me, and I get the sense that he’s taking me under his wing. But I can’t tell if that is because I am a good worker or the only person in the office who collects music. Granted my James Gang Rides Again LP (thank you, eBay!) is in transit to me en ce moment, so it’s not like I am the most on-brand choice to be a part of Diggy’s merchandising entourage. But, uh, compared to Barry and Ms. Sher, I am the obvious choice.
My tags have printed. If you need me, I will be inserting bracelets into plastic poly bags for the NYC hip hop elite until I head to lunch.
***
5:07 p.m.
Annnnnnd we’re back.
Yes, ladies, Ms. Sher and Brian Leung are now friends.
If my life has taken a stranger turn, I’m unaware of it.
And here’s what happened:
Scène:
Cash: Charli, would you be a sport and let us know when Darnell’s and Brian’s separate memos are ready? Diggy gets his own as well, and they need them before they leave.
Moi: Yes, sure, but it will take me a moment; not all of the color ways are in the system yet.
Cash: No problemo, Charls, they are perfectly fine to wait in the executive dining room until you have it done.
Moi: I’m entering the styles as we speak.
Cash: I love that Ann Arbor can-do spirit, am I right? Thanks, Charls, you’re the best.
Brian Leung approaches our row, looking confused, Change tucked under his arm.
Brian: Yo, Cash, some Chinese lady just asked me in Cantonese if Darnell and I want lunch! I told her that’s whassup!
Cash: Brian, you know that you and Darnell are welcome to everything there is to offer here in the Simons Jewel Co. office! That’s Kwan! She’s amazing. She will make you a plate of the best cold cuts you have ever had! Sit…, relax! Charli is preparing everything for you and Darnell while you wait.
Ms. Sher: Excuuuuuuuuuuse me!
Everyone turns.
Ms. Sher: Lettt me seee that leeeetle dawggy! Who eeees theees?
Brian: Who me?
Ms. Sher: Yes, you handsome devil, come heeeerree to Ms. Sherrrrrr.
Brian sets Change on the floor, who runs over and jumps into Ms. Sher’s lap.
Ms. Sher: Now this is my leeetle boy. Who eees theees?
Brian: This is Change, yo!
Ms. Sher: Change, you are Ms. Sher’s leetle boy, she says stroking him, grinning widely, occasionally breaking into claps of joy.
Charli sits typing with her head down, minding her own business out of embarrassment, while cool-guy Brian penetrates the furthest depths of fine jewelry employee weirdo dorkdom.
Brian: Yo….. What is that magnifying glass? Is that 18K gold? With diamonds? And hands free?
Ms. Sher: Zees, I have had since before you were born.
deux mille six 