9/19/06 11:23 a.m.

Gahhhh, I cannot work!  I can’t do work. All I wanna do is hang out with my friends at Studio B.

Survey: Should I Contact L.B.?

Back story: Still no response to 4 text messages sent post- 3:34 a.m. this past Sunday morning.  2 days! But who’s counting?

 

***

4:41 p.m.

Okaaaaaaayyyyy, well.  That was special! Special along the lines of the friendship between Ms. Sher and Brian Leung.

Sometimes I am so busy after one of a many Ranch Jr. impromptu meetings that I do not have time to recap them.  I really would like to… He’s full of so many phrases… “Home run”, “Superstar”, “Agreed”, “Is she hungry?”, really, they ought to be transcribed.

But today’s takes the cake.

Today at Simons Jewel Co., we received . . .

. . .  drumroll please . . .

The Oral History of Hiphop!  Recited by . . . Ranch Jr.!

Oh, dear audience, how I wish you were there.

“We are here, making stainless steel jewelry for men, because people, well, the world, relate to this culture.  Run DMC had the first crossover hit with Aerosmith, “Walk This Way”.  And from that DIggy, Diggy Simons, who is the namesake of this company, started his record label.  I mean, they were selling records, awwwwlllll over New York City.  Awll over the country.  People were break dancing in the street, you had your boom boxes, and people loved this music.  And these people came from the streets.  Of Brooklyn.  And Harlem. And Queens.  And the Bronx. And some of them….  Some of them did do some time. Some were drug dealers.  Some were what you’d call… hustlers. But they were always on the streets, so that’s how the word spread.  Now, not everyone in hip hop was a pimp or a drug dealer, and that is not what we are promoting. But real things did happen.  Did you know. . . 50 Cent was shot . . . nine times? And look at 2Pac.  He got shot by Suge Knight.  Now that was an east coast / west coast thing, and again, that is not…  what we are promoting with this jewelry per se.  [Charli’s note: gotta love the “per se”]  But there are people out there who do relate to this culture and that is what Simons Jewel Co. is all about.  And thanks to the hard work of myself, Dad, and Cash, who unfortunately is not here today, this bling is gonna be in every mall in America!”

I look over and Ranch Sr. is beaming.  “Ain’t that right, Sonny Boy?” he says, cleaning his 3 carat diamond pinky ring against the leg of his tan dress pants and breaking into applause.  “How ‘bout a round for Sonny Boy?”

Everyone looks around and claps limply.

“Thanks, thanks, everybody, no need, no need.  I didn’t do this myself! I did this with the help of Dad.  Oh and you! And all of you. Remember- there is no ‘I’ in ‘team’.”

Everyone looks around.  That seemed to be the ‘closer’.  We sat awkwardly.

“That’s it, everybody, you can go back to your desks.”